Twenty Protestations and Twenty Complaint-Crushing Comebacks
Everyone has the Perfect Excuse for why they’re unable to reach their goals.
The good news (or bad news) for you is that not only have I heard just about every excuse, but I’ve also UTTERED just about every excuse (well, not the “sweating” one).
So, to help you on those days when you’re feeling full of sh…, er, excuses here are Twenty (count ‘em – TWENTY!) of the Best Ever Perfect Excuses in the known universe. AND Twenty pithy, gritty, USEFUL comebacks to help you CUT THE CRAP and achieve your goals. Play along at home and LET ME KNOW, in the comments section, if you’ve ever uttered a version of the following:
- Working out is boring! – So are brushing your teeth and balancing your budget. Working out doesn’t need to thrill you! Now get moving!
- I’ve been doing this for a month and my stomach still jiggles! – Success doesn’t happen overnight or even over 30 days! Keep going!
- OMG I’m a loser. I ate a whole frigging pizza! – Analyze why you ate a whole pizza. Are you starving yourself all day? Practicing too much deprivation and then going off the rails because you feel deprived? (BTW – at Performance Fitness we advocate restraint and, yes, sacrifice, but not total deprivation). Stop starving yourself all day and/or depriving yourself. Eat when you’re hungry, stop when your 80-90% full!
- OMG I ate a whole a pint of Ben & Jerry’s! – See number 3, and then put a third of that crack in a BOWL and eat it. Occasionally! OR better yet – leave the crack at the store, and stop setting yourself for gluttony!
- OMG I’m hungry all the time! – Calories are NOT the enemy. You have to EAT TO SURVIVE. Again, eat when you’re hungry. Stop when you’re 80-90% full.
- I HATE sweating! – You’re insane. Just shut up and work out anyway.
- I’ll never lose this belly! – Yes you will, but it will take TIME. Are you TRACKING your food and calories? Remember, abs are made in the kitchen.
- This workout is too hard! – It’s going to get harder if you stop doing it!
- I’m getting dizzy! – Stop and sit down. Make sure to eat something before you workout next time.
- I’m going to puke! – Stop, find the nearest toilet or receptacle (preferable as far away from me as possible). Next workout, have a smaller pre-workout snack and give yourself more time to digest. Didn’t eat before you’re workout? Try eating a snack 20 minutes to 2 hours before your workout. BTW – Performance Fitness House Rule Number 11: No Puking!
- I missed a whole week of working out! – Get over it, and work out NOW! (or as soon as the next opportunity presents itself). Next time, do a WOW to keep yourself on track.
- Nobody’s complimenting my ten-pound weight loss! – Compliment yourself, you Bad Mama Jama
- It’s not fair! How come <insert Celebrity Name here> has such an amazing body? – <Celebrity Name> got in that shape as part of preparing for a role. Her very livelihood was at stake! She worked out four hours a day, six days a week with a trainer, and had a personal chef whipping up calorie-restricted organic fare – because her CAREER depends on her body being hot. Now stop flagellating yourself and get moving!
- I have no time to cook! – Bullsh… You need ONE afternoon a week to make a week’s worth of healthy meals. And if you really don’t have the time to cook, contact us for time-crunched cooking and meal prep strategies.
- I have no time to shop for groceries! – If you have time to eat, you have time to shop. It only takes an hour a week. MAKE THE TIME. Or better yet, order online.
- Healthy food tastes nasty! – No it doesn’t. Take 21-30 days to experiment with eating REAL FOOD. You’ll see how great healthy food tastes. Plus, junky crap makes you feel and look nasty!
- I hate exercising! – See number 1, then find something you like, and be compliant in doing it 80% of the time. The possibilities are almost endless. Heck you can even try out one of our classes for free.
- I DESERVE to eat Krispy Kreme if I work out three days a week! – Then you DESERVE your mediocre (at best) results. Ever heard of personal responsibility? How about restraint? How about the effort you put in will determine your outcome?
- I’m too injured to work out! – Then heal and build up your strength so you don’t get re-injured! Also, listen to the experts (your trainers) and focus on form.
- I’m too out of shape to work out! –Humph.
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