The other day my Christmas tree fell over…twice.
I had noticed one of the string of beads was falling off the tree. I reached down to fix them…and down went the tree before I could catch it.
Broken and intact ornaments scattered everywhere.
My obese senior cat decided that broken glass was the most interesting thing he had ever seen and that it was time to investigate.
My kid, shocked by the sound of the falling tree, wailed, inconsolable.
His “favorite” ornament had been broken. Which was his “favorite”? Not one of the specialty train ornaments but one of the dozens of red glass balls that adorn the tree as well as the rest of the house. Chile, please.
I righted the tree, shoved it in a corner, and cleaned up the mess with enough time left for Coll to catch the bus.
Of course, I walked by the tree, and it fell…again. At least I caught it this time.
More clean up plus a kid who didn’t heed my yelling, er, requests to get his shoes on meant more chaos and a missed bus.
So why am I sharing this story? Stick with me. There is a point.
This whole fiasco happened on the third day of the new year. On my first full day back to work after a break.
And the timing made me think “what does this all mean? Is this some sort of sign?”
As a recovering pessimist I still look for (sometimes negative) meaning in everything.
This chaotic morning was happening very early in the new year. A year in which I had sworn off goals, but committed to working on some habits that would make my life better and easier.
And even though I had shunned goals, I was/am hoping that this would be a big year for growth and change and forward momentum for me.
Did my twice fallen tree mean that my new commitments were doomed? Was the tree the universe’s way of saying “Nah, girl. This ain’t your time. Stick to what you know. SSDD, lol!”
When we make commitments, goals, habits, whatever the slightest thing, a chaotic morning, a missed bus, a forgotten gym bag, can discourage us.
After all, what we’ve committed to is usually new or at least something we’ve gotten out of the habit of doing. Sticking to what we’re comfortable with is well, comforting.
So we stick to what we know and there’s not change or growth or whatever.
But I want change and growth and whatever. So, instead of listening to that voice that said, “What are you doing? You know you’re not meant to have an easy life. Change isn’t for you.” I chalked it up to one sh*tty morning (that actually got more sh*tty) that turned into a not so bad afternoon and evening.
And I’m going to try to face every day with that same resolve.
So, what about you? Any fallen trees in your life? Anything getting in your way that you’re letting block your growth?
I’d love to hear about it in comments. Let’s help each other out and hold each other up.
P.S. Here’s my tree in its glory days before the fall: